SO I found this press which publishes alternative guidebooks "which emphasize humorous and honest perspectives" and which "are used as a catalyst to adventure." Welp. I thought this was going to be hard to find a publisher interested — hence my decision to go with the selfie route. Skint Press took me about forty seconds to find on Google. Whoops. Now I will send a query letter and see what happens. I’m still printing a first edition for all my indiegogo donors, so like the thing’s getting published one way or another no matter what, but maybe I could get paid twice! Amirite or amirete
Mom sent me a thing I wrote for college. I was in Larry Nichol’s Tutoring class which we all had to take before we were fully-trained writing center dudes. I was basing it off of an earlier thing which I’d written my very first year of college at UAA, which was itself based on Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan, an entertaining book about a slacker antihero who refuses to participate in his own life and makes fun of everything, and winds up in disaster after disaster which are not of his own making but would have been pretty easy to dodge. In otherwords, the perfect teenager book. It was extremely funny and dealt with a lot of the otherworldly angst. Our assignment was to write "our history and relationship with writing," whatever that was. This is what turned out. I’m not sure why mom sent this paper my way, but Larry Nichols is retiring and so I’m putting this up so now the internet can scrutinize this paper forever. Please be gentle. I was young. I was trying a little hard to ape Neilan’s style but I think there are a few good moments. Read it as a poetry and less as a literal recounting of events. Note: Ben Henderson is not a real person. John Ruhlin is, but I felt no need to change his name because I think I sent this to him, many years ago. Also, he did in fact dress up like a giant bug on Halloween one year. Go figure.