I got this video from duncan and will now provide commentary.
“Joe knows what to do with people like you”? The Anchorage commercials video starts off strong with a mafia/murder vibe.
The rain and the streetlights is so anchorage. I love this already.
City of Wasilla? I guess this is a commercial for murder. And joe is literally a murderer for hire.
flashcut shoes FAN SPIN scissorts close-up OH DON’T KILL ME coming closer PLEASE DON’T KILL ME getting closer OH ohhhhhhhhhhhh he’s just trimming off a single bang.
don’t talk to me I’m reading belly-up right now
“They gave me this for an air conditioner!” I literally cannot see what he is holding up. Nice camera work. Perhaps a straw hat? Also that dude has a lot of flowers, is he like getting married or something texas married.
You dumb texas fuck you better go to whitset I’m flying direct now shut up
Everyone on the plane: whatsit?
her: WHITSET can you guys not see I’m trying to read here
plane flies off into the only blue sky anchorage sees all year
hahahahahahahahaha vince you little wimp reading books cry to mommy
wait who the hell is talking he is alone in that room
LISTEN TO THE SAGE VINCE
YOU MUST FIRST BECOME AWARE OF WHO YOU ARE
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
I’m really disappointed it cuts away just before the fight. 80’s anchorage seems like a violent place
The logo for the tiger and dragon club, incidentally, was drawn by vince. he works for a nice graphic design firm in new york now. he has a nice girlfriend, do you know marty’s daughter peggy? peggy that’s right. peggy is such a nice girl.
I feel like they just let the camera roll on this one. it was an authentic search for the props he was supposed to use.
ok lemme just set this candle down here before I stab this guy
MAN LIZER KNOWS ALL HE IS A HORTICULTURIST AND A TV PERSONALITY
Ortho weed b-gon goes down and kills (the roots of the plants.)
there’s nothing more effective for killing (weeds) than ortho weed b-gon
Has anyone told Man Lizer that ducks are not actually plants
there was a lot of idea crammed into those opening shots. 1. skyline and mountains 2. epidemic 3. hats 4. your hair sucks
what possible conclusion should I be drawing here
…AND THE BEAT DROPS
WHY IS SHE WEARING A GIANT CREDIT CARD DOES LANI WEAR A GIANT CREDIT CARD WHEN SHE’S CUTTING HAIR??? THAT SEEMS HARD
obligatory hilarious shots of 80s hair
fuk u no hats in lani’s place
earthqua–oh no it’s the neighbors banging again
a man is literally brandishing a vacuum and saying “ahghhuhuhguhaghuahg.”
if someone broke into my quaking apartment I would be far more afraid of violence rather than incoherent vacuum cleaner salesmen
this still looks exactly like the interior of every single house in anchorage
“AUGHGUAGHAHG” *smashes buttons*
“No, incoherent vacuum sales neanderthal.”
also, the cigarette in his mouth is not lit. he’s i suppose not figured out how to make fire yet.
everything I want in an apartment and more is an electric stove in off-white underneath my sun altar
My dentist is in that building. huh.
WhoaAaaaa, little touchy with the clientele there, lady!
freeze frame on that tableau GO
cue charming banjo music
cue charming tape distortion
make a pun
I dare you
“What has no gears, is not red, and does not come from Japan?”
well that actually describes most of the things in the universe
I know the answer is going to be an american-made ATV
but there are a lot of other answers
I predict none of them will make you smile though, atv man
Alaska: butt-rock capitol of the world since neaderthal vacuum salesmen roamed the steppe, on ATVs
we’re done now
never let them see
let all men know that the bassoon is code for hip-swingin’ elf
let alllaladies know that elf is code for PARTY STARTED
I mean it’s mostly astounding to me that there were ads for arcades in the eighties. Ads for arcades! Which could tell people to live out their fantasies!
Quentin finley passed away in Anchorage in the 1980s when a commercial used its entire budget to purchase a fire effect, but did not have enough to purchase a fire extinguisher
oh who am i kidding it was just a guy with a can of hair spray and some matches
anchorage was a violent place in the 80s
MACHETE MACHETE MACHETE MURDER MURDER MUYRDER UIPMPGNKING KPIJGKINF STRIKE STRIKE
happy halloween anchorage I hope you don’t get murdered
ps I’lll release a sample chapter of the book soon. bye everyone