a monologue for inclusion in a “500 monologues for children” collection

the simit bakery is a it’s a brick room inside which is a hole in the floor which goes to an oven and dudes slide pieces of wood in and out from the fire and make bread rings which are called simit and are essentially bagesl but actually not quite bagels, which is really unsatisfying on a primal level because some morening s you’re like fuck I really want a bagel and simit is sold everywhere, on everyone store and men literally wheel these carts throughtu the streets selling simit and there are just stacks of them, and they even sell it whith this cheese in little wedges called karper which is really like the laughring cow, and you fhick whoyl shit this is actually bagel and cream cheese? And then you eat ti but you can’t even cut a simit in half lengthwise you have to just tear tough chunks off like an animal and then squirt cheese from the little metal sack onto the torn wedge and chew it and your jaw gets tired because it’s the toughest goddamn bread made for traveling across to the other part of the fucking animla cage w e call a city and you look at the shitty bread ring in your hand and you’re like motherfucker why aren’t you a bagel

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2 comments
  1. you should use your free time to learn how to diy bagels. for all of our sake.

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